


Forever In My Heart

by orphan_account



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV), Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Asher
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Awkward Sexual Tension, Brad is an asswipe, Break Up, Canon Gay Character, Clay is shy but still sassy, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Humor, Google Translate Spanish, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Jealous Brad, Jealousy, Minor Justin Foley/Alex Standal, Multi, Mutual Pining, My First Fanfic, Not Beta Read, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, Texting, Tony's natural hair is curly, hannah is dead tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 03:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10733505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tony Padilla is head-over-heels for his best friend of ten years, Clay Jensen, despite Tony already having a clingy boyfriend.When he meets someone over a Suicide Support chat forum that just happens to remind him a little too much like Clay, he can't help falling for them as well.OrTony and Clay are oblivious to each other's identities and end up pining, not only in real life but online.





	1. And so it begins

**_Tony_ **

 

   Tony stared owlishly at the bright screen in front of him, illuminating his tanned skin with a faint blue glow as he furrowed his eyebrows and squinted at the text displayed on his phone.

 

**[Free Chatting Services! Chat Anonymously With People Near You!]**

 

    Tony grumbled to himself, scrolling through the list of ongoing topics to chat about. He was never much of a talker, and rather fancied keeping his opinions to himself and only opened up when he needed to. The boy was fonder with action, and liked doing things instead of sitting around and talking about it. He had immediately rejected the idea of talking to a therapist when he opened up to a selective part of his family about Hannah Baker's tapes, as the idea of just sitting in a dull room and openly expressing his feelings to someone he knew nothing about did not sit well with him. His brothers exchanged disbelieving glances when he opened up to them about his discomfort with talking, and instead sent him a link to an anonymous chat forum. Apparently, they had already used it once before, and recommended it to him via text. 

 

Tony's thumb landed on the "Suicide Survivors" category. It was the closest thing he could find to his current situation, so he shrugged to himself and adjusted his position so he could sit up in his bed and see the rectangular phone screen better. 

 

The screen shifted, gradually morphing to present a simple chatroom that a little too much like an iMessage chat to be a coincidence. The only different was that there was a simple name that popped up on the top of his screen, with a bright green dot next to it to signify that the other user was online. Tony twiddled his thumbs awkwardly against the keyboard, mulling over how he should initiate a conversation with a total stranger. He visibly relaxed when three small dots appeared in the left-hand corner of the screen, and his phone buzzed, presenting a small message.

 

**Anon12353: hey**

 

Tony grabbed his bottom lip with his teeth and chewed on it slowly. He sighed softly to himself, wondering when he became such a softie. 

 

 _Freaking out about one stupid text from a complete stranger? Pull yourself together, Padilla,_ he thought to himself.

 

He had always imagined himself as a person that had an unbreakable facade that carried an aura of calmness around him, and that he constantly spewed knowledge and advice to the people around him. Well, until Clay Jensen appeared. As much as Tony would like to deny it, his features genuinely softened when he just thought about the blue eyed boy. He just could not get enough of the taller boy's gentle ambiance and his sinfully pink lips. He tried to convince himself that there were other boys that had such touchable soft skin, charming crooked smiles, and gentle voices. Yet whenever Clay looked at him with those shining blue eyes he practically melted into putty right in front of him. Of course, this did not sit well with his current boyfriend, or any boyfriend for that matter. 

Despite the jealous glares Brad never failed to shoot at Clay, or the bothersome fights about Tony's obvious attachment to Clay, Tony would risk anything for him. Just a simple text and Tony would be there at a moment's notice. Clay was never a strong person, mentally or physically, and now that he had listened to the tapes he needed as much help as he could get. Tony needed to be strong for Clay, his family, and himself. 

If Tony was a mess, who was going to be there Clay when he needed help?

 _Do this for Clay, just talk about your feelings,_ he thought, scolding himself mentally.

Tony snapped out of his Clay frenzy when his phone buzzed urgently in his palms. 

**Anon12353: you still there?**

**"** _Mierda,_ " Tony cursed under his breath. This conversation is not going to go anywhere if he does not even fucking respond. 

**You: Yeah sorry, I guess my first message did not go through.**

Tony scoffed quietly at the obvious lie, but he did not want it to seem like that he was just an insensitive asshole by explaining that he got lost in his thoughts and completely forgot about the person on the other end.

**Anon12353: oh that's cool :p**

**Anon12353: wait no fuck that's not cool,,,**

**Anon12353: I did not know that messages sometimes don't go through**

Tony could not help but chuckle at the earnest panic that leaked through the messages, before regaining his composure and continued typing again.

**You: lol I guess they can**

**Anon12353: So... What's your name???**

**You: Why do you want to know?**

  **Anon12353: Do you really expect me to call you 'Anon13577' for the whole duration of the conversation?**

**You: Wait that's rlly my name on your screen???**

**You: Damn. It just shows up as 'You' on my screen...**

**Anon12353: No shit, Sherlock. What's mine?**

**You: Anon12353**

**Anon12353: ew. We have to give each other nicknames like rn.**

**Anon12353: K so guess my name:**

**Anon12353: Pots are made out of me.**

**You: Weed?**

**Anon12353:  .  .   . .  .**

**Anon12353: I was going for something like "clay" but that'll do**

 

Tony furrowed his brows at the screen, grimacing in confusion. He could not help but let his mind wander back to the topic of his best friend. Whoever he was talking to really did share a lot of similarities between his longtime crush, as their quirky humor was just a little too much alike. Was this newfound information just a tad bit suspicious to Tony? Yes, yes it was.

 _This guy really does seem like Clay,_ he thought grimly. He barely had time to process the unusual answer that came from the stranger, who he had recently dubbed "Weed", when another gentle buzz vibrated in his hand.

**[Anon12353 changed their username to Weed]**

**Weed: What about you?**

**You: Chinchilla. No doubt about it.**

**Weed: wtf**

**You: It rhymes with my last name and they're super cute so ya**

**[Weed changed Anon13577's username to Chinchilla]**

**Weed: Chinchilla and Weed, the best of pals.**

**Weed: If that is not the wackiest thing you have heard all day, I do not want to learn about what your life is like.**

**You: Trust me, I have way too many siblings.**

**You: I found a Poptart next to a used condom this morning. I did not want to find out whether that was just white glaze on the Poptart or something...**

**You: Else?**

**Weed: o h.**

**You: yeah.**

**Weed: well then.**

**You: exactly.**

**Weed: I am an only child, so my parents are such helicopter parents!!**

**You: Lucky. I would kill for some quiet sometimes.**

**Weed: Wouldn't you miss them? Or get lonely?**

**You: Definitely.**

**Weed: Exactly!!! I never really had anyone to talk to so my social skills are not the best. But I do have a really special friend.**

**Weed: Who may look a little too good in a leather jacket.**

**You: wait what,,,**

**Weed: Oh siht i gott a go it' s li ke 12:00 am and I got s chool tomorrow**

**Weed: Bye ttyl, Chinchilla.**

**You: See ya, Weed.**

**Weed: Promise me to tell me what you're here for next time we meet?**

**You: What do you mean??**

**Weed: This is a Suicide Survivors chat, if you haven't noticed...**

**Weed: Why are you here?**

Tony let out a low groan, cursing under his breath. He was not really going to tell a complete stranger all about the tapes. He couldn't. Yet, something blinded his decision making as he swiftly started typing his response.

**You: I'll tell you next time, I promise.**

**Weed: You promise you will tell the truth?**

**You: Always.**

**[Weed has logged off the server]**

Tony grumbled and clicked off his phone, sighing with content as the blinding light that his phone gradually dimmed until fully disappearing. His eyelids felt heavy against his face as he slowly lowered himself down until he was fully submerged in the sea of blankets that lay on his bed. He nonchalantly threw his phone onto the nightstand, and fully closed his eyes, welcoming sleep with open arms as he slowly drifted away.

"Goodnight, Clay," he murmured quietly to himself as sleep consumed his whole body.

 

\--------------------------------

 

The next morning whipped by in a blur. The only thing Tony remembered clearly was the dark circles that hung beneath his eyes, lining his face with worry and regret. He quickly applied gel to his meddlesome bedhead and combed through the tangled knots. He also remembered opening his dresser and confidently putting on his leather jacket with more pride than usual, the same line repeating over and over in his head.

 _A really special friend who may look a little too good in a leather jacket_.

Well, that was new.

Tony decided to ignore it as he basically shoveled breakfast into his mouth and promptly trotted out towards his pride and glory to pick up his other pride and glory: His red mustang and Clay Jensen. He let out another content sigh as he smoothly slid into the driver's seat of the car, firmly grasping the rough surface of the steering wheel as he turned the key, starting the engine. He could only focus on the loud humming sound that emits from the engine as the car rolls down the block to Clay's house. Tony parks outside the large house, waiting patiently for Clay to burst through the doors of the house and slide into the seat next to him without a moment's hesitation. Instead, he is met with a frazzled looking Clay Jensen with large eye bags adorned on his pale white skin. 

Tony could not help the concern that bubbled inside of him, twisting his features against his will into genuine worry. He desperately tried to make eye contact with the taller boy as he silently slipped into the car next to him. He knew that Clay still had nightmares about Hannah's suicide. he would be lying if he said that he too did not have nightmares about Hannah's lifeless body being swept away into an ambulance.

"Couldn't sleep?" Tony asked, hoping his voice did not falter as he steadily raked his eyes over Clay. Clay only nodded in response, turning his attention towards the window as Tony started driving the vehicle towards the school.

"Was it a nightmare about Hannah?" Tony asked again, more persistently this time. He lowered his voice so it was barely over a whisper. Clay whipped his head towards Tony, finally meeting the smaller boy's strong gaze.

"No - I was just talking to someone," Clay responded hesitantly, his voice trailing off as he focused on Tony. He only raised an eyebrow in response.

"Who exactly is this 'someone', Clay?" Tony said curtly, letting the annoyance drip off his tongue as he turned his eyes back on the road. The two sat in silence as Tony pulled into the school parking lot, and as Clay promptly ignored Tony's question that still lingered in the air. Clay huffed, crossing his arms across his chest as he slung his backpack over his shoulders. The blue-eyed boy was about to exit the vehicle before Tony let his worries consume him, and Tony reached put to tug his backpack, forcing Clay's gaze to once again fall back on him.

"Just promise me you won't do anything stupid with your new friend of yours?"

Clay sighed, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Tony ignored his heart suddenly coming to life inside of his chest and focused on Clay.

"As long as you promise not to do anything stupid, as well. Deal?"

Tony gulped, one thing circling in his mind.

_The chat._

"Always," he said before letting go of Clay for good and watching him retreat towards the school building.

 

 

 

 


	2. Tony Gets Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony picks Clay up after school, and an unwanted guest appears.  
> [this chapter takes place after school has ended]
> 
> !!TW for domestic abuse!!

**_Tony_ **

 

Tony maneuvered his way through the crowded hallway, the ongoing sound of the school bell ringing loudly in his ears as he avoided the cluster of nervous freshman rushing to get out of the older students' way. He visibly perked up when he spotted Clay hunched over his locker, retrieving his bookbag. When he spotted Tony slowly approaching him, he gave an awkward wave. Tony, in response, motioned for him to meet him outside the school parking lot. He had purposefully been avoiding Brad all day, since he did not want to confront him after he had noticed that he had accidentally forgotten to text him goodnight the previous day. Tony felt guilt rising in his chest as the memory of him murmuring Clay goodnight before falling into a deep sleep resurfaced in his mind. He had barely even thought about  Brad that entire night. His mind was already preoccupied with drifting thoughts about Clay, and the guy he had met online. 

He snapped out of his thoughts when a large figurine loomed over him and gripped his shoulder tightly. Tony immediately stiffened, and whipped his head back, only to make eye contact with deep brown eyes much like his own.

"Brad," he said smoothly, trying to calm his racing heartbeat from being scared like that. He didn't want his boyfriend to worry. Brad only shot him a strained, glassy smile. Tony could practically see the anger burning from deep within his eyes. Brad, much unlike Tony, was a rather possessive person who liked to practically keep the object of their affections close and locked away from others who could take them away from him. Tony didn't have a problem with that in the beginning and thought it was rather cute that Brad kept him close and showered him with affection. Yet things started going downhill when Brad's jealousy got the better of him, and the fights about Tony and Clay's rather affectionate relationship started to become the norm for the couple. Brad would obviously not be very happy when Tony would have to explain to him that he, once again, had to drop Clay off at his house like he did every school day. Tony mentally prepared himself for the stream of questions that would just effortlessly spew out of Brad's mouth. Surprising, the questions never came, and a new question replaced it.

"Hey Babe," Brad responded, "do you mind if I join you for your car ride to Clay's house?" 

Tony nodded immediately, making a quick mental note that Brad's artificial smile never faltered once while he was talking. A small part of him started wondering if it was genuine, but that hope was quickly tarnished by the looming fear that they would start fighting again by the time Clay was dropped off in front of his house. He was not afraid of Brad, but the idea of them fighting left a sour taste in his mouth. He never liked arguing with people that he cared about, since he was always scared that in the moment of fury, anger would blind his decision making and he would accidentally hurt them. He was very quick to keep his composure, and he knew that Brad would never hurt him. 

Tony led Brad out to the parking lot, where Clay was already hovering around the car, patiently waiting for Tony to arrive. His eyes widened for a split second when he noticed Brad trotting behind him. Clay forced a sheepish smile on his face, bracing himself for the multitude of glares Brad would throw Clay's way during the whole duration of the ride. Tony honestly just wanted the awkward atmosphere to disappear as quick as it came, so he swiftly got his keys out from inside his jacket pocket and unlocked the car doors. He instinctively opened the front car door for Clay, so the boy could easily sit next to him while he was driving. Tony found Clay's subtle smell and overall presence calming while he was driving, so he always allowed Clay to call shotgun. He ignored Brad's confused and hurt expression when he let Clay sit next to him in the car.

"Clay always calls shotgun," Tony explained sheepishly, shrugging as he closed the door after Clay had gone into the vehicle. Clay backed him up with an exaggerated nod as Brad let out an annoyed huff. Brad scoffed as he slid into the backseat, eyeing Clay as Tony took his seat and started the car. The awkward atmosphere was getting thicker by the passing minute. Clay sent a guilty look towards Tony, before opening his mouth and asking aloud if Brad would like to switch seats. but the other boy quickly shot down the offer, topping it off with a breathy laugh.

Tony cringed, making the car drive faster towards Clay's house.

"It's not a race, Babe," Brad commented, emphasizing the last word. He studied Clay's expression as he said it, watching as Clay slowly shifted uncomfortably under Brad's gaze. Tony only nodded as they pulled up into the Jensen's driveway. Tony parked the car as Clay swiftly tugged on his jacket, signifying to him that he needed to have a quick word with him. The two exited the vehicle, leaving a scowling Brad inside the red Mustang. They steadily made their way towards the porch of the house before Clay spoke up.

"Listen, I'm not the same oblivious shy kid that I was in fourth grade, Tony. Anyone who was within two feet of us could see that Brad hates me, and doesn't trust you with me," Clay started, shifting his body weight from foot to foot. Tony opened his mouth to respond before Clay cut him off.

"I'm fine with him not liking me, but I just want him to trust you. Trust is crucial in a relationship, Tony," He continued. His voice lowered to barely above a whisper.

"I'm worried about you. I don't want to be too late, again," Clay admitted finally.

"If things go sour I'll obviously tell you, Clay. I can take care of myself, I promise."

"I know that. I just don't want you to feel as though you always have to do it yourself, though," Clay finished, giving his hand a firm squeeze before meeting his dark brown eyes. Tony ignored how his hand felt like flames were licking up his arm, and forced himself not to flush at the sudden contact and at Clay's concern. He nodded, squeezing Clay's hand as well, before making his retreat back into the car. He felt Brad's eyes burning into the back of his skull as he drove the car down toward's his house. He could practically hear the gears turning in Brad's head. He parked the car in front of his house, as crawled into the back seat of the mustang to meet Brad's fuming gaze. Brad only crossed his arms and legs in response.

"So, I saw you and Jensen holding hands," He finally said after a grueling five minutes of hesitant silence. Tony groaned, closing his eyes. Not this conversation, again.

"It did not mean anything, Brad. We've been friends since kindergarten. If I really did like him I would have made a move on him, but I don't. I like you. Got it?"

"Sometimes it doesn't seem that way, since you seem rather touchy with him," Brad spat, turning to fully face Tony. His skin was flushed with unexpressed rage. Tony flinched at the sudden switch of tone, but Brad did not stop to hesitate.

"You won't even hold hands with me in public, but with him, it's a different story? Really, Tony?" He said, voice raising even louder. Tony was sure anyone passing by could hear the screaming emitting from inside the mustang. Tony just groaned, anger bubbling within him. Why didn't Brad just let the whole Clay thing go? He had not even done anything with Clay beside merely touching him, so what was the big deal? Why was he so jealous?

"Can you just let it go, Brad? Please for the love of God, you don't know what he is going through after listening to those tapes! They fuck people up, I am only trying to be there for him, like a good friend!" Tony exclaimed, hands shaking with anger. He and Clay were just friends, no matter what Tony wanted. Clay wasn't interested in boys, and Tony was fine with that. He just wanted to be there for him.

"Oh, so it's normal for a 'good friend' to want to date Clay? Well, I'll tell you that it isn't, you son of a bitch!" Brad screamed, looming dangerously over Tony's shorter frame. It was at times like these that Tony wished he wasn't so short.

"Brad - What the f-" Tony started, before a sharp sting sprang in his cheek, and suddenly found himself flying backward, hitting his back on the window of the car. Pain erupted from his face and spine as he struggled to recompose himself, feeling tears automatically forming in the corners of his eyes. His fist balled before he put one hand and gently touched where the pain was coming from. His hand shook at he looked up, making eye contact with a mortified Brad, still frozen in shock at his own actions. His eyes were wide and his lips were parted, and when he locked eye contact with a teary eyed Tony, he flinched backward as if he had been hit, too. Brad scrambled towards Tony, his hands still shaking as he profusely apologized. Tony only stared at him in utter shock, hand still clutching his right cheek. 

_he knew that Brad would never hurt him._

_Fuck._

"D-Did you just hit me?" Tony finally said, interrupting Brad's constant stream of panicked apologizes. 

"Babe, I'm so sorry. I swear I didn't mean to. Please. I am so sorry, oh my God, Babe." Brad stammered, slowly lifting his hand up to try and kiss Tony's forehead. Tony avoided his contact and opened the car door. Brad stared at him in disbelief as Tony stood there frozen, the car door still open, motioning for Brad to exit the car.

"Get out," He commanded, voice low and final. Brad nodded quickly as he crawled out of the seat and onto the sidewalk. Tony didn't meet his gaze as he swiftly climbed into the front seat and drove away towards Monet's. He ignored Brad screaming his name loudly as the engine roared, and Tony just drummed his fingers against the steering wheel before parking in front of the quiet coffee shop. Tony slammed the car door shut as he exited the vehicle and walked slowly towards the entrance of the café. The smell of coffee quickly engulfed his senses, distracting him from the searing pain in his left cheek. He didn't look up to meet Skye's worrying gaze as he shuffled towards the counter to order a simple hot chocolate. 

"You ok?" She asked quietly, sliding the cup towards his. He quickly nodded as he reached into his back pocket before she explained that he could have it on the house. Tony didn't respond as he connected his phone to the free wifi and scrolled aimlessly through his apps, simultaneously sipping the burning hot chocolate to distract himself from the pain boiling on his cheek. His thumb once again landed on the stupid chatting app, as he shrugged and logged into the app. Tony almost let out a long sigh of relief when he noticed that the stranger he had talked to yesterday was still online, as he clicked on the chat and started typing.

**You: So... My boyfriend just punched me in my own car...**

He let a small grin consume his face when he saw the three dots reappear in the lefthand corner of the screen almost immediately.

**Weed: Yo WTF**

**Weed: That's not ok**

**Weed: I repeat, that's not ok!!!**

**You: But he apologized so does that even count?**

**Weed: Bruh are you hecking stupid**

**Weed: He P U N C H E D you!!**

**Weed: Dump his ass rn.**

**You: But it was because of something I did?**

**Weed: It's his fault for overreacting and not trying to talk about it.**

**You: We did "try" to talk about it but then...**

**Weed: Things went south?**

**You: Exactly.**

**Weed: Listen, Chinchilla, I don't want you in any danger, no matter what shape or form.**

**Weed: If he did it once he can do it again, bro.**

**Weed: Does anyone else know?**

**You: Nah, just you and him so far.**

**Weed: Is there anyone you can tell?**

**Weed: Like irl?**

**You: Yeah, I have this really close friend that I've known since kindergarten.**

**Weed: Tell them.**

**Weed: Promise me you'll tell me if he does it again?**

Tony paused, for once hesitant while he was talking to Weed. He needed to stop promising this guy so many things, but whenever he closed his eyes Clay's concerned face flashed and floated around in his mind.

**You: Always.**

**Weed: Take care of yourself, ok Chinchilla?**

**Weed: You have people who care. Think about your family and your friend.**

**You: You too, Weed.**

**You: GTG.**

**Weed: Bye.**

Tony finished off the last drops of hot chocolate from his cup, before throwing it away and exiting the café.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes!! The plot thickens. 
> 
> plz don't hate me...
> 
> Tony will tell Clay what happened in the next chapter do not worry, boys and girls.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic, so please point out things like typos, wrong translations, etc.  
> Comments and constructive criticism is heavily appreciated :)  
> Updates maybe twice a week?
> 
> I do not know a lot of Spanish, but my head-canon is that Tony switches languages quite often so sorry if I butchered the language lmao


End file.
